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Thread: The official joke thread

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    Gold Subscriber chithead's Avatar
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    Re: The official joke thread


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    Re: The official joke thread

    An elderly man in Oklahoma calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day son, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are getting a divorce; 45 years of marriage... and that much misery is enough!" "Dad, what are you talking about?" the son yells. "We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old dad explained. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Hong Kong and tell her!". Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this." She calls her elderly father immediately, and screams at him, "You are not getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, you hear me?" she yelled as she hung up the phone. The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay", he says, "it's all set. They're both coming for Christmas and paying their own air-fare."

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  5. Back To Top    #133
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    Re: The official joke thread

    A pirate walked into a bar, and the bartender said, "Hey, Josh, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible." "What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine." "What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before." "Well," said the pirate, "We were in a battle, and I got hit with a cannonball, but I'm fine now." "Well, okay,” the bartender replied, “But what about that hook? What happened to your hand?" "We were in another battle,” the pirate explained. “I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook, but I'm fine, really." “What about that eye patch?" "Oh," said the pirate, "One day we were at sea, and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up, and one of them crapped in my eye." "You're kidding," said the bartender. "You can lose an eye just from bird shit?" “It was my first day with the hook."

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  7. Back To Top    #134
    Seer Newby Hic's Avatar
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    Re: The official joke thread

    Quote Originally Posted by chithead View Post
    Just found out his wife was a relative before he married her.
    If you get her pants off, call me - unknown

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